by Asjia Chapin
I wish to tell you my different life, the ins, the outs and so,
Your heart will warm, beat a bit and then start to grow.
With passion to comfort me and really make me know,
That when I scream or hit or when my temper blows,
You’re willing to do anything and simply run the flow.
I wish you knew what I was thinking when I looked up to you,
You didn’t ever second guess, you’re always right on cue.
Then you could stick up for me, if you only knew…
What went on behind your back, I’m not sure why or who,
Words leave me feeling small inside, like the deepest shade of blue.
I wish you knew the kid I was, the kid I truly am,
My body is always locked up in a cage, but I am who I am.
On simple things that should not and would not to a young man, And always after gloomy days, I know I need a plan.
But I also wish I could explain to you my joy and pride,
To the rarest little flickers of happiness inside.
When I listen to my music that is only mine,
To filter through my head and slowly calm my mind.
I wish I could carry my music everywhere I went,
So maybe no one would notice me, that is all I meant.
Or even if that’s too hard, I wish there was a vent,
I wouldn’t bother anyone, I wouldn’t make a dent.
I wish I could escape my strange life, I’m not the one to blame,
It’s the mothers, kids, and big tall guys holding crooked canes.
That come by everyday and call me…names,
To beat me up, with their words, but I never can exclaim…
“SOMEONE PLEASE COME HELP ME, AREN’T WE ALL THE SAME?”
But most of all I wish, at the end of every day,
Someone would turn around, face me, tilt their head and say,
“You’re a good boy, come on let’s play,”
I’d turn around too and finally say, “okay!”
But, I don’t think that’s happened in my 12 whole years,
But, I’m still hoping, I’m still wishing after all my tears,
That maybe someone kind will come and I’ll finally say, “I’m clear,”
Of this brain disorder that fills my atmosphere.
Asjia wrote this poem when she was eight years old and in the third grade. She wrote the poem to promote autism acceptance and honor the perspective of her 12-year-old brother, Mekhi who is on the autism spectrum and non-verbal. Asjia’s poem was first recited at her school talent show and brought the audience to tears.
Asjia understands the significance of being an advocate and a voice for her brother and so many others on the autism spectrum. During Autism Acceptance and Awareness month in April, Asjia recited her poem for both the Vancouver City Council and Camas City Council. Her poem was published in the Summer 2016 print issue of Spectrums Magazine.
Asjia Chapin is currently nine years old and lives in Camas, Washington with her parents, Mike and Angie, her older brothers, Mekhi and Kaliq and her older sister, Imani. She and her family are active volunteers in the Autism Serves Kids Care Club and the local community.